Breathing
by cinematicsitcom
Summary: It is  a grim determination to keep breathing, is one of the few things that has got you this far.    Well that and him...  Series of short connected pieces all with the same sort of theme. Sirius/Remus. fluff/angst/romance hybrid
1. Prologue : Life is Breathing

Authors Note : Here we go! Title of chapters etc come from Kate Bush's fantastic song breathing. Warnings include slash and a brief mention of sex later on. It's all quite tame. Please read and review!

Breathe.

It's simple. In and out.

Many people fall to peices in times of chaos but somehow you've always been able to keep it together. Your secret? Simple. Just Keep Breathing. If you are breathing then you are alive and if you are alive that means that there is at least one thing on your side. Usually. Despite popular opinion you have decided that being a werewolf is better than being dead. So you keep breathing. It is the first thing, it will be the last thing And in the second it takes for you to look back you realize that a grim determination to keep breathing, is one of the few things that has got you this far.

Well that and him...


	2. Outside Gets Inside

Breathe.

You have to remind yourself or you will stop breathing.

Look at his eyes ; see years of longing, see excitement, see a softness that has always been reserved just for you.

Lean back into the bed where your best friend has just kissed you.

Kiss him back, taste his skin touch his hair.

Push back the thoughts that this beautiful, manic boy has the power to break you with a single glance.


	3. Such A Bright Light

Breathe

You can do this

Intertwine your fingers with his as you walk through the corridors one last time; ignore the mummers that echo off the stone walls

Kiss him by the gate; stop only to laugh when he cavalierly flips off a sixth year that is "obviously jealous" he whispers into your ear.

Run, don't let go of him, catch up with James and Lilly, and bring Peter with you. Cram yourselves into the seats one last time even though it is far too small. Reminisce, plan for the future, as cliché as it sounds not much matters as long as you are together. You've all got the rest of your lives to figure it out.

Right?


	4. Only The Fools

Breathe

Rationalize as you search through papers and rummage through his belongings, these are terrifying times if he is the spy he may not even have control over himself.

You have to do this, for James and lily, for the bump in Lily's belly that you put your hands on and whispered to last night promising to always keep them safe.

Search, find nothing cry because you should know everything about your lover but you know you never will.


	5. But My Instincts Tell Me

Breathe.

Do not think, do not speak, do not move from the bed you were sharing just two months ago.

Do not read the paper, go out only to muggle shops for the most basic supplies, do not respond to the owls that descend upon the cottage.

Continue to exist, and survive, travel often, sleep little. Push back the thoughts that whisper to you late at night saying _"You could have saved them..If only..._"


	6. After The Blast

Breathe.

Do not think, do not speak, do not move from the bed you were sharing just two months ago.

Do not read the paper, go out only to muggle shops for the most basic supplies, do not respond to the owls that descend upon the cottage.

Continue to exist, and survive, travel often, sleep little. Push back the thoughts that whisper to you late at night saying _"You could have saved them..If only..._"


	7. All and Everywhere

Breathe

Remember to breathe

Look at his eyes, they have not changed, yes they have seen more but you can still see the hints of memories. They pull you in past the gaunt face, tangled hair, tattered robes, past any shred of doubt you once held. Later, when people ask you cannot put your emotions into words. You are simply sure that it is more than you have felt in years. And it's wonderful.

Believe him, hold him, feel his breath on you, feel like the past thirteen years never happened.

Wake up the next morning and remember they did.


	8. You and Me Knew

Breathe

Categorize the changes in your head; look at this strange man slightly recovered but not the man you once knew. Then again you must look different too, hair greyer, every worry etched upon your brow and so many of them were about him. Gather yourself, make some tea, make small talk, he looks well. He mutters about not wanting to intrude and you respond quickly. "No it's alright I've been..." waiting, expecting, hoping? No words seem correct and so you leave it at that. Grab a blanket and a beat up cushion, offer the couch and apologize. Then he speaks again tentatively saying "Actually Moony I was hoping..." and you could swear you forget to breathe for a good minute.


End file.
